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People do the best they can with the personal software they have.
If a person has been exposed to nothing but aggression all their lives, it is less than surprising that they are aggressive themselves both at work and in play.
Understanding this may lead us to be more compassionate and understanding in all situations, but believe me it is not easy.
Being able to forgive someone who has hurt you for no apparent reason can be described by many as a bridge too far.
Yet forgiving others frees up so much energy within.
Some recommend the "forgive and forget " strategy. Find the resources to forgive, you are unlikely to forget at least in the short term is my advice.
The more I journey, the more I believe that life is truly a trip of forgiveness.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)
When you are living on purpose / doing what you love in addition to focusing on truly contributing positively to other people's lives you have the ability to attract teachers, circumstances, information and events to help you achieve your dreams.
Agree?
The above is the belief that opens the door to a life of magic and adventure, certainly in my experience.
Warning - you can only attract teachers if you are open to the possibility that no matter who you meet, they actually can teach you something important about your life.
Oftentimes our ego stops us from accepting this belief system and thus you cut off a major source of wisdom and magic in your life.
Be aware - teachers are everywhere!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)
More interesting research coming out of the Fetzer Institute.
Their research has showed that the success and happiness of the child is more a reflection of how their parents interact, than the amount of love heaped on them by both parents. Interesting!
I would argue that both parents would be incapable of transferring genuine affection unless that was the norm in their own relationships. As relationships and work are such an integral part of your life, you expect the resulting joy or strain from either to transfer to your child. As we know, children are very perceptive.
Still on the relationships front, research just produced by Ohio State University argues the needs for people to have their eyes wide open about each others positives and negatives before they walk down the aisle.
Researchers found that couples were less likely to experience sharp declines in marital satisfaction if they had accurate pictures of the relationship even if the picture was not ideal.
and what if love is blind!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)
Christine Price, gerontologist with Ohio State University Extension highlights six keys to ageing gracefully:
1. Life Long Learning - The mantra is simple - "Use it or lose it."
2. Sense of Humour - no surpise here!
3. Social interaction - An interesting study of centenarians showed that the ability to develop new relationships even as we age is an important component in ageing well.
4. Attitude - A positive outlook helps.
"I changed nothing but my attitude so I changed everything." Anthony De Mello
5. Physical Health - Good food.
6. Spirituality - Those who have some spiritula belief are healthier than those who have not.
As you review this list be aware that you are looking at the secrets to living a life less limiting regardless of your age.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:42 AM | Comments (0)
A young boy recently told his mother who was complaining about some of the "finer details" of her life: "Build a bridge and get over it Mum!"
Childish wisdom?
After all we know that emotions must be allowed to come and go likes the waves.
Oscar Wilde said:
"A man who is a master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure."
Rumi highlighted what happens after despair:
"After despair, many hopes flourish. Just as after darkness, thousands of suns open and start to shine."
George Santanaya highlighted the importance of expressing your emotions:
"The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool."
Express, accept and let go.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)
Teacher training for the Transition Year personal development module “Looking ahead and Living Now” kicked off in Castlebar yesterday.
Next year, 2004-2005, a few thousand students will participate in weekly classes discussing such topics as self awareness, overcoming limiting beliefs, tapping in to the power of the mind and spirit, rapport excellence, motivation, boosting your self esteem.
These topics will be delivered in a way that honours all the learning styles of the student.
This is happening because of the generous sponsorship of Mr Pat McDonagh, Supermacs.
At the teacher training, I had the opportunity to discuss my vision of education in Ireland.
My aspiration is that each student should have one class of personal development a week while in school.
For this module to get real power in the students mind, an assessment process/ exam needs to be created for maximum impact.
Furthermore, I believe that each student should have to make at minimum one visit to a resident life coach each year. If everyone was obliged to visit the life coach or counsellor, then those who may be suffering in silence have an outlet to express their innermost thoughts and feeling without potential embarrassment or stereotyping from their friends.
Can you imagine what the effect this would have on a child in the context of the two most important intelligences – interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence.
Of course all this calls for new resources to be pumped into the education sector. But when you put it up against the fact that you will offer hope and inspiration to many students, the cost is minimal.
The ball is rolling and gaining momentum!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 11:02 AM | Comments (2)
Dr. William Fry of Stanford University found that laughing 200 times burns off the same amount of calories as 10 minutes on a rowing machine.
Other research conducted by Fry found that by the time the average kid reaches kindergarten, he or she is laughing some 300 times each day.
Compare that to the typical adult, whom Rod Martin, Ph.D., now at the University of Western Ontario found laughs a paltry 17 times a day. (Men and women laugh equally often, Martin adds, but at different things.)
Are we taking ourselves too seriously?
Do we need permission to have a laugh?
Remember Charlie Chaplains words: "Humour heightens our sense of survival and preserves our sanity."
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:17 AM | Comments (0)
A sign in Albert Einstein's office:
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:50 AM | Comments (0)
A recent Gallup Survey in the USA reported that 55m workers “hate their job and would leave them today if they could.”
Life is a journey of choice – if I hated anything, I would choose differently in the future.
Job hatred damages both the jobholder and the organization.
From a personal perspective, harboring hatred for anything eats away at your essence. As work is such an integral part of life’s cocktail, job dissatisfaction guarantees much dis-ease in all aspects of your life.
This is not the right choice.
From an organizational perspective, according to the National Management Association, unhappy workers are the most costly to employ.
"They're easily disengaged and often quit psychologically long before they quit physically, resulting in poor productivity. Many of these workers focus more on finding their next job than performing in their present one."
Trying to retain dissatisfied staff because “getting good people isn’t easy” isn’t the right choice either.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:46 AM | Comments (0)
So how long does it take to form the all powerful first impression of someone?
This first impression may be the filter through which you see your new boss or co-worker for some time to come.
Recent research completed by Harvard psychology professors Nalini Ambady, Ph.D., and Robert Rosenthal, Ph.D. confirmed our deepest suspicions - the time is reducing!
Destiny in a few seconds?
"Observers viewed three thin slices of each professor's behavior-10-second clips from the beginning, middle and end of a class-and then rated the professors' confidence, energy and warmth. They found that these ratings predicted with amazing accuracy the average student rating taken at semester's end. Thinner slices-three two-second clips-also yielded ratings similarly congruent with student evaluations."
A researcher from NYU claims the time is even faster
"We're finding that everything is evaluated as good or bad within a quarter of a second," says Bargh.
So 3...2...1... and beyond!
How do we guarantee positive first impressions?
Not easy, remember people are looking at you through their eyes/ their filters.
The only thing we can do is do the best we can from the heart always - be congruent and hope for the best!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:58 AM | Comments (0)
A childhood filled with stress may lead to an adulthood filled with anxiety and depression, according to the finding of a new study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry
The study finds young adults who were exposed to repeated stressful events, like a parent losing a job, during childhood had a higher risk of suffering depression or anxiety later in life compared to those who had less stressful childhoods.
The research of nearly 2,000 young adults also finds the stress effect was cumulative, the more stress a person suffered, the higher their risk.
Researchers at Florida State University said these findings help clarify the impact of years of such events on mental health.
The effect is more than just a short term phenomenen; “our environment” has a major impact on our future outcomes.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)
Over the weekend, I kept reflecting on the following question:
Which are we more afraid of - Life or Death?
Put another way - are we more afraid of truly going after the life we so desire or death?
Not a straight forward answer!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 03:09 PM | Comments (1)