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At the recent Accord conference a lady related the following powerful story to me:
Two days before departing on her dream holiday, Anne started to feel something was wrong. She kept getting a curious nervous feeling in her stomach. As the moments passed, this feeling intensified.
Though she had look forward to this trip for years, believing that this ill feeling was a sign, she discussed the idea of canceling the trip with her husband. Her husband tried to get her back on track, but no matter what he said Anne was convinced that a cancellation was the only way forward.
That evening they decided to cancel.
Anne’s ill feeling began to dissipate.
As "departure time came and went," the couple felt a little sad at missing one of the opportunities of a lifetime.
That night, the hotel which would have been their base for the duration of the holiday was burnt to the ground.
A dramatic story that illustrates the power of intuition, the power of true connection, a power we all have access to as human beings.
The next time your inner whispers speak, honour them, you are guaranteed to end up in a place you recognize as better than your starting point.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:05 AM | Comments (0)
“Gardez l’eau!”
Watch out – water, more often than not a special kind of water is on its way!
This was a normal cry from Edinburgh householders in the sixteenth century as they dumped their sewerage out the window onto the street after ten pm. This was normal procedure as householders had no other way of disposing of same.
The sewerage made its way down the streets and into Loch Nor, now Princes Street Gardens which used to be a place of punishment at that time.
At the edge of the loch there was a special device for “ducking of fornicators for the suppressing of such vice.”
Some unfortunate women were tested for involvement in witchcraft by being thrown into the scented loch! Those who sank were considered to be innocent while those who floated were said to have been held up by the hand of the devil. They were subsequently burnt at the stake.
A classic no win situation!
Luckily I suffered no ill effects from addressing the MPI conference over there at the weekend!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 07:21 PM | Comments (0)
New Scientist magazine, surveying recent "subjective well-being" research, came up with these 10 keys to a happy life:
1) Understand that you need enough money to be comfortable.
2) Limit your desire for things. - Remember all you really want is to be happy.
3) No phd required.
4) Know your genetic makeup counts.
5) Good looks help!
6) Cultivate relationships with friends and family - comes up top pf most surveys.
7) Get married (although it may also be that happier people are more likely to get married). Recent research suggested that marriage is a better result for the man.
8) Get involved in religion - the need to connect is paramount in my opinion.
9) Be generous - Gratitude benefits the giver and receiver.
10) Age gracefully. In todays world the more you age, the more value you can bring into this world.
A young student from one of the participating schools in the "Looking Ahead and Living now" programme wrote:
"In my eyes to live is a luxury and we should make the best of it.We only get one chance and no one can tell us how long it will last."
Laoise O Connor, St Louis Monaghan, Ireland.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 08:51 AM | Comments (0)
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question – what are you doing for others.”
Martin Luther King.
In the context of my most recent audience - Accord’s staff and volunteers; this is an easy one – they are making a major impact.
Recent research shows that 50% of couples move away from marital distress to happiness as a result of their intervention.
After spending the weekend in their midst, it is easy to understand why they are successful.
Even though the majority of the audience, remember mostly volunteers, are working longer hours, they still both collectively and individually inspired me with their presence.
As the weekend progressed, I started to mentally highlight some of their attributes:
-Willingness to learn, a sense of fun, a buy in to the power of unity / a spirit of interdependence, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything, real personal warmth, a sense of purpose/contribution, connection/ soul-
Well done and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share the experience with you.
Is it a case of:
"Choose a work you love and you will never labour a day in your life?"
Confucius
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:04 AM | Comments (5)
Irish proverbs:
Time
“Time is a great storyteller.”
Action
“If you do not sow in the spring, you will not reap in the autumn.”
“You have got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.”
Life
“It is a long road that has no turning.”
Enjoy the moment
“You never miss the water till the well runs dry.”
Oscar Wilde:
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
”Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one.”
“Who, being loved, is poor.”
Enjoy and reflect.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:07 AM | Comments (1)
Happy St Patricks Day to you all.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)
There is an old Sufi story about a man who dropped his keys on the dark side of the street at night, then crossed the street to the lamppost where it was bright to begin his search.
When a colleague of his asked him why he was looking under the lamp instead of where he dropped his keys, he replied,
"I am looking here because there is more light."
Of course, it is always easier to look in the light but the reality for many most of the growth comes from looking in the darK.
On another level, this story points to a major challenge we all face as we journey - it is not solving the problem or challenge; it is seeing it.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)
An interesting exercise: close your eyes and keep them closed for a minute, open them when you think the time is up.
What did you learn?
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:22 AM | Comments (0)
Which hurts more - losing your job or a drop in your income by one third relative to the average income?
According to Professor Richard Layard of the London School of Economics, the former.
Yes - losing your job hurts more than a big hit in in your income.
(Note this doesn't take into account the decrease in income suffered from the job loss which would obviously increase the pain.)
Why is this the case?
No doubt the opportunity to tap into some of their innate potential in the workplace - to feel part of a team - the social connections and friendships built up in the workplace all play a part in motivating people.
Many companies are now focusing on these issues in the context of building a better work environment for their employees
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)
New research out this week shows another positive side effect of “laughter therapy” – it reduces the blood pressure of patients recovering from strokes. The research was conducted by Grau University in Austria.
We already know that laughter releases the pleasure chemical endorphins into our system – it enhances our infection fighting ability – it reduces the amount of cortisol, the stress hormone in the system- it is a great rapport builder, as everyone likes a laugh, but as I continue to advise; don’t try it if you are not funny! – All in all it appears the time is right for a laugh!
However, to laugh or laugh at yourself (an even better rapport builder) may be a challenge too far for someone who takes themselves a little too seriously.
Indeed, it may be a step too far for many of the frustrated faces in traffic jams around the globe every day. The following is for anyone who looks forward to driving home in rush hour!
Next time you feel your stress levels are going through the roof while you sit admiring the cars in front of you and behind, look straight ahead – focus on car in front and start laughing. Yes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha………Exaggerate the laughter.
As your mind does not know the difference between real and imagined laughter your system will be flooded with endorphins – your stress will subside, and at least for a few moments you will feel a lot better.
Ok so the person in the other car is looking at you with strange eyes!
Enjoy!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:50 AM | Comments (0)
"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-Tzu
"Every new opinion, at its starting, is precisely in a minority of one."
Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
"The very best solution is the one that is simplest to explain."
Socrates
"Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance."
Carlos Castenada
Reflect and Enjoy.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:51 AM | Comments (0)
Some fascinating research coming out of the University of Miami’s, Touch Research Institute
Recent studies have shown touch can reduce pain and stress hormones, alleviate symptoms of depression and help premature infants gain weight, among other benefits.
When one considers the increasing incidences of sexual abuse accusations, one can understand the reluctance of most people to adapt a more “tactile approach” to new and existing relationships.
So what can one do?
"I think parents really need to make sure kids are getting some touch, a back rub before they go to bed or while they're doing their homework," Tiffany Field, Director of the Institute said. "Even for adolescents — they love their heads being rubbed, their backs being rubbed. It doesn't have to be anything more."
And what could happen if we don’t?
One repercussion of the lack of human touch could be increased aggression, Field said. Anthropological studies have documented that primitive cultures with less affectionate touch are more violent than geographically close cultures with more touching.
With this premise, Field traveled to France, which has one of the lowest rates of adolescent male homicide. She observed preschool children on playgrounds with their parents and friends both in France and in Miami and found that U.S. children touched less, and were more aggressive. The preschoolers in Miami grabbed toys from their peers twice as much as the French children and "fussed" more than seven times as much, while their parents touched them three times less frequently.
Fascinating.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 08:41 AM | Comments (0)
Do you want to motivate your child/ co worker/ employee - say "thanks."
Do you want to motivate yourself? Yes, you guessed - be the person who says "thanks!"
This is one of the interesting revelations from research just published in a new book by Robert Emmons of the University of California and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami - "The Psychology of Gratitude."
Some of the findings included:
Those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis:
- felt physically and emotionally better than those who didn't.
Gratitude heals.
-were more likely to be empathic, ie take on board the perspective of other people.
-were less likely to judge other people's success in terms of their personal possessions.
- were less envious of the success of others.
-enjoyed a better quality of sleep.
And finally, as mentioned above, the participants were more likely to have made progress in the context of achieving their goals.
So its official - gratitude works for the giver and receiver.
But dont forget - you cannot give what you have not got.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:20 AM | Comments (0)