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The field of psychoneuroimmunology pioneered by Robert Ader and Candace Pert clearly showed the effect of the different type of emotions on our health.
For example, by stewing on negative emotions, we depress our immune system, bringing sickness closer to our door.
Expressing your emotions is most definitely the way forward.
As a child, we understood and honoured this!
We also allowed our emotions to come and go just like the waves – a major challenge for most people in today's world.
As we age, males particularly are vilified for expressing their emotions – “boys don’t cry” - an everyday mantra in houses around the globe. It is of course critical these teachings are rescinded and updated.
I read a fascinating article yesterday in the Washington Post which highlighted the length a Chinese community went to allow themselves the ability to express their feelings and emotions – very simply they created their own language – nushu.
At the turn of the century, only Chinese men learned to read and write – the women were confined to the home.
The language evolved from the region's ancient custom of “sworn sisters,” where village girls pledged life long friendship to each other.
Three days after one of the girls got married, she would receive a “Third Day Book,” in which her sworn sisters and mother would have recorded their feelings about losing a friend and express their good wishes for their friend's future. There would also be space left for the bride to record her feelings and emotions.
All the content was written in nushu which the husband could not understand.
When paper was scarce, some would record their feelings on their hands.
Apparently there are only a handful of people alive that have competency in this language which boasts a vocabulary of between 670-1500 words.
For a good emotional bill of health, express and let go.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:03 AM | Comments (0)
Its official – people who sleep more than seven hours a night are endangering their health. Yes seven hours, not eight which was generally accepted as the magic number for most people.
Indeed eight hours raises the mortality risk by a staggering thirty five per cent.
More is definitely less in the context of sleep – you are over twice as likely to die early if you sleep over ten hours a night.
This is one of the results of a new study of 110,792 subjects who were followed over a ten year period. Carried out by Nagano University in Japan, it reconfirms previous findings from similar studies of nurses and cancer patients.
The only thing the research did not highlight was why too much sleep kills - this is now the focus of their research.
Interesting.
On the subject of sleep, the greatest misconception must be that people think it helps to relax mind and body. The latter – yes, but too many people wake up in the morning feeling shattered to accept the former. During sleep we have a lot of REM (rapid eye movement) where we are dreaming or processing the day’s deeds.
This is why it is incredibly important we learn relaxation techniques to help us maintain our incredible resource.
Previous entries will help you calm the mind.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 07:50 AM | Comments (2)
The road not taken
I shall be taking this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost 1916
“Is taking the road to personal motivation / personal power a selfish pursuit?”
From the outside, I concede it may appear to someone that it is, but only in the short term.
I believe we move through three stages in life, starting off as dependents when we are born.
The next stage is independent. True independence, insight and confidence go together, bringing us to the final realization that we are all are one – the stage of interdependence.
When we take the road less travelled, we start to develop real insight and true inner confidence.
It does take time out and self reflection which may appear somewhat of a selfish act by others.
However on further scrutiny, people should realize and definitely will see an unhappy you is not the preferred choice. A happy you is better to be around.
So yet again, though it may involve a journey of light and dark, take the road less travelled.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)
So here is the choice – cinema tickets or a new jacket?
Which one will contribute more to your happiness in the long term?
Put more simply, which would you prefer - a thing or an experience?
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in December 2003 concluded that “doing” contributed more to long term happiness than “having.”
The researchers, Thomas Gilovich of Cornell University and Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado found that "experiential" purchases - those made with the primary intention of acquiring a life experience - make people happier than material purchases.
In a US nationwide phone survey of 1,279 adults, respondents were much more likely to claim that a prior experiential purchase made them happier than a material one—57 percent versus 34 percent—even after accounting for differences in price.
It appears that the experience lives forever – we are after all the byproduct of all our experiences in life. These experiences are relived over and over again within our own community.
Of course our new “thing” may last a life time or even a long time but more and more research suggest we become immune to or used of it in time. The buzz quickly dissipates.
Thus for "things" to deliver an ongoing buzz, you need to keep buying!
Not recommended!
But can we bring this research one step further – is it possible to be happy without having to buy either new experiences or new things?
Regular readers of the weblog know the answer!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)
New research from the University of Bristol may dispel the myth that the coffee break is just the tonic after a stressful morning in the office.
Coffee, it appears, actually increases stress levels in particularly and peculiarly men that work alone. Men who work in teams could feel less stressed after a cuppa but may be less effective.
The study also tested the impact of expectations, or whether someone who chooses to have a cup of coffee, believing it will speed reaction times, actually feels less stressed if under pressure to do something quickly.
For this reason, in one set of tests, researchers told 32 people that their coffee contained caffeine which would help their performance, another 32 that their drink did not, and a third group of 32 that they were having caffeine which causes stress-like side effects. Unknown to the participants, however, half of the drinks actually contained 200 mg of caffeine and the other half had none.
After drinking, all in the experiment did two stressful tasks and a series of other tests.
Unexpectedly, men who had been told that their coffee contained caffeine to enhance performance had higher heart rates and felt more stressed.
Actual caffeine consumption made people generally less confident about their ability to cope and, again surprisingly, made men feel more ‘stressed’.
Maybe it is time we focus on doing what we love, and we will never have to work another day in our life?
The definitive answer to stress in the workplace.
Not totally unrelated, I was horrified to hear that some 2 million prescriptions for antidepressants were handed out to children last year in the US.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 01:39 PM | Comments (1)
Some Hindu Wisdom:
"The more we know, the greater appears our ignorance."
Comment:
Can "knowledge" always give us enough reasons not to pursue our dreams?"
Yes.
For those in search of happiness, an interesting article.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:48 AM | Comments (1)
I have always believed that in negotiations your direction should always be dictated by your customer's physiology.
At every moment in the interaction, the customer's physiology is telling you all you need to know!
A friend emailed a link which gives you the opportunity to test your awareness levels, to examine just how good you are at reading body cues.
You are presented with twenty smiling faces - the challenge is to differentiate between the genuine smiles and the opposite.
Enjoy!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 08:45 AM | Comments (0)
Smile with your eyes!
Because of the intimate link between your physiology ( way you look) and your psychology (way you think) a smile is a good indicator that you are confident in your ability, but more importantly it enhances the energy in the room when you walk through the door. Now imagine that you were able to make your client laugh – you have geometrically increased the chance of a positive encounter. Warning – if you are not funny, don’t go there!
Attitude
“I changed nothing but my attitude so I changed everything.”
Anthony De Mello
Listen and Learn.
A sales encounter isn’t necessarily an opportunity for you to get on the soapbox – it is a situation where your attention should be focused 100% on your customer. This is why listening is such an important skill. When you listen to your customer, you make the customer feel better about himself / herself; thus you have made the environment more conducive for a sale. Repeating back to customers what they have said – asking questions all bring you closer to a sale.
Furthermore the more aware you are, the more skilled you become in "departure strategy."
Knowing when to leave is the skill in successful salesmanship.
L is also for learn – the need understand what your offering in adequate detail. Of course if you have the right attitude you will be like a sponge in the context of ongoing learning, indeed you will learn from everybody accepting that everybody can be your teacher.
Energy/ Enthusiasm
Energy infects! Energy and enthusiasm is available only to those who are doing what they love. Are you one of the lucky ones? Is selling simply a transfer of energy?
I believe so.
Strategy.
So you are energetic, funny, an excellent listener, have a positive attitude, willing to learn - anything left?
Yes, you must commit to a strategy of lifelong learning and development which will help to sharpen your skills even further and keep you on the road to success in sales!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:48 AM | Comments (0)
Some Chinese wisdom to enjoy:
If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 08:32 AM | Comments (0)
Yesterday I received a call from a lady who had read both my books.
“I just rang to say thank you for writing the books,” she said.
It was a genuine show of appreciation that really moved and inspired me.
Later on in the evening, I revisited those positive feelings while pondering the importance of showing appreciation.
Each year in Ireland, it is estimated that the small business sector loses approximately €540m euros due to absenteeism. If all employees felt wanted, appreciated would this figure be lower? I believe so.
At a deeper level, does the inability to be appreciative tell me anything about a person?
Yes. I believe that you cannot give what you have not got. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will find it very hard to be positive at any level about others.
All in all I believe that good management practice and positive affirmation go hand in hand – so the message is clear says thanks today!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:53 AM | Comments (1)
As Valentines day is around the corner I decided to share with you one of my favourite quotes from Rumi:
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek, to find all the barriers inside yourself that you have built against it."
I have found that the more you develop yourself, the more chance you have of attracting your soulmate - someone that you deserve and someone that your best friend and/ or seer knows you deserve.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 08:59 AM | Comments (0)