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Developing empathy - making progress in pain - developing spirit - passion in purpose - living now - developing certainty in the unknown and finally intent - these are the areas we need to focus on in 2004?
I believe that your development will be hampered if your intent is not positive ; put in another way, your focus must be to add value to our world - to leave a positive imprint as your legacy.
I found that the more I moved towards contribution and away from ego, the more my life accelerated.
Develop positive intent.
Remember all of the above areas ar not mutually exclusive - each influences the other.
So thats all for 2003 - a year I wont be forgetting for a long time. Thanks to everybody who made it a year to remember.
Happy Christmas and a very fun filled and fulfilled New Year.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:13 AM | Comments (2)
The sixth area worth reflecting on when you are drawing up your blueprint for 2004 -Develop now!
A few years back, a young friend of mine died tragically. It was the first time death truly visited me. I started to appreciate the impermanence of life - accepting the wisdom of following your dreams, but also acknowledging the necessity of living life now. I reviewed what was important in my life, and committed to putting these activities to the forefront on a daily basis.
Furthermore, over the last twelve thirteen years, I have seen the joy that engagement in life brings into people's lives. For a person that has sat on the fence methaphorically speaking for years, action has the equivalent effect of lifting a weight off their shoulder, indeed of totally softening their physiology.
So what am I saying - live your life as if there was no tomorrow - pursue your dreams today, dont wait another minute remembering:
Here today, gone today - live life now!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)
Now for the difficult one!
There will be times when your inner whispers/ promptings are directing you towards a certain course of action. You may not understand what is happening, indeed “knowledge” may promote an alternative option – honour those whispers anyway.
Choose wisdom before knowledge.
There may be times when you are living on purpose that you don’t know whats around the corner – go there anyway!
There will be many questions that don’t have answers – stop asking, start doing!
Remember, a goal is not a goal if you know exactly how to achieve it.
Remember, life would be dull if we knew exactly what was going to happen - moment on moment.
In summary, trust with your heart – develop certainty in the unknown.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:38 AM | Comments (0)
The fourth and key area - the importance of developing spirit / self belief.
What stops most people from taking positive action in your life?
Invariably the belief that they are not good enough.
Inner talk – “ I am not good enough.”
For this reason, any training intervention is worthless, unless time is allotted to prove to participants they have the necessary resources to live a fulfilled life.
On reflection, people will be presently surprised to notice that there have been many times in their life where they have used a winning strategy.
Indeed, before they even knew what the word strategy meant, they excelled at it during their “early years.” Let us just call it - childish wisdom.
Similarly while making any major acquisition in life, many people have experienced a certain magic?
Could we use this magical formula to our benefit in the future - yes!
Review these winning strategies now!
After review, integrate.
You will begin to develop self belief, spirit.
As mentioned in previous entries, belief is the most powerful drug in the world.
Belief can truly move mountains.
Start cultivating spirit/ belief today.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)
So what is the third area that we must work upon in 2004?
For the few - developing passion in purpose - for the majority, finding our purpose. I am a great believer in the fact that we are all blessed with a special purpose or a talent which if use for the good of all, guarantees us a fulfilled and magical life.
When you are living on purpose you have the ability to attract teachers, circumstances and information that help you with your goals and life.
When you are living on purpose, you are perpetually in flow ie you almost live a stressless existence.
When you are living on purpose, you are always provided for finacially - I describe this as a state fo financial fulfilment.
When you are living on purpose, you sense significant meaning in your life.
....plus much more.
Take time out in 2004 to meditate/ reflect on this key question what is your purpose/ mission?
( review past entries on how to relax/meditate/ reflect.)
Enjoy.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:12 AM | Comments (0)
In the last entry we talked of the importance of developing empathy, of being able to walk in someones elses shoes.This next challenge requires you to truly understand yourself.
To truly tap into your potential, you need to know what are the self imposed obstacles ie thought patterns that are hampering your development.
Remember when you truly understand the source of your fears and reservations, you can choose differently in the future – identification is the first and oftentimes, the most painful step. On the other hand, it is usually the most rewarding.
Pains appears to be the personal growth catalyst. If you need proof of this, look around you – notice how bad news on the health front for many people, results in them living a more value driven live. Their focus is on living for the moment, spending time on what is important in their life, appreciating everything.
Previous to receiving the bad news, they were like many others, trying to make time.
This is why I call this stage, "making progress in pain."
So in 2004, start the process of developing self knowledge. Don’t run away from pain – embrace and learn from it.
Highlight and disempower limiting beliefs and watch your life transform before your eyes.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:42 AM | Comments (0)
It is that time of the year - the end of year review where we look back on what has passed and look forward with hope and optimism.
Over the next seven days, I will share with you seven key areas that require your attention if 2004 and beyond, are going to meet with your dreams and aspirations.
Work on each of these seven areas, and I promise you that all aspects of your life will show dramatic improvement.
The first may appear the easiest, but for most it is the most difficult.
- Develop empathy.
Interpersonal intelligence, that is, the ability to relate to other is the most highly paid intelligence in the world. It requires the ability to listen to others, to be there for others, to care for others, to be a witness in conversations, to truly understand not the complexity, but the predictability of human behavior.
This appears easy until you think about the amount of stimuli that is vying for people's attention on a minute to minute basis, or how more and more people are finding it difficult to quieten the incessant noise in their mind due to high stress levels, or the fact that "me focus" has replaced "we focus," or many other challenges.
Starting point: In your next rendez-vous, truly walk a mile in your colleague's mocassins before you rush to judgement.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 07:27 PM | Comments (1)
Is life a journey of choice?
Yes.
Can we control what happens to us?
No – but we can control our reactions to these events.
As the many stories in my books highlight – you can be truly in the gutter, but still see the stars, as Oscar Wilde once said.
Can we change as we age?
Yes, no doubt but as they say it is a journey, not a destination.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published by the American Psychological Association endorses this view.
Drawing on findings from research conducted with over 132,000 adults aged 21-60, the authors highlighted changes in the big five personality traits ie. conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness and extraversion over that time period.
In summary – never too late to change for the positive – the old dog can indeed learn new tricks - are you willing to take the first few steps today?
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 05:14 PM | Comments (0)
I read a very interesting article this morning which was highlighting the potential addictive dangers of "gurus." Of course, counsellors, trainers, speakers, facilitators should also come with warning notices!
In my seminars, I am keen to point out two things:
1. The person in the street may be a better teacher than myself, ie, it is critical that our ego allows us to believe that everyone can be our teacher.
2. You have the tools - with knowledge comes responsability - now go and take the first step.
Two proverbs mirror my view:
"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. " - Chinese Proverb
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." Irish proverb.
The message: dont spend your life going from seminar to seminar, book to book, feel the fear and integrate the knowledge you have learned and watch what happens.
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 02:45 PM | Comments (0)
In my seminars, sooner or later the discussion centres on what appears to be our collective inability to listen to others.
When you consider that listening or giving attention, is a derivative of love and has the ability to bring must satisfaction to the listened, it is obvious that developing this skill is critical.
As people can absorb information three times quicker than a person can deliver it, the challenge is to keep your attention in the space between the words. For many this is difficult.
Now just imagine you were a good listener – indeed you were able to repeat back to people what they had said – how would your colleague feel – very good at minimum. Andrea Corr describes where the band sing their songs back to them as the equivalent of a spiritual experience. She is right. People love to hear the sounds of their own words. Even better if it is from a person of authority – someone they respect – remember this one, managers!
Ultimately we need to become a witness in conversation – happy to let people develop their points not looking like we are ready to pounce on our subject at any stage.
Click here if you wish to assess your listening skills courtesy of Career Journal
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)
Enjoy:
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw
There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that receives it.
Edith Wharton 1862-1937
Reflect:
Is your torch burning as brightly as it should be?
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 10:10 AM | Comments (0)
What does it take to become a successful fulfilled balanced entrepreneur?
This was the focus of my recent presentation for Innovation Works last night.
What are the issues?
Belief - have you got it?
Vision aligned with your values or interests or at a higher level are you living your mission.
Contribution - is your focus on really adding value to your customers lives?
Perseverance - do you appreciate that the road is narrow, lonely sometimes,- full of pitfalls - in summary a journey of light and dark. However in those dark moments you have the potential to grow and move on.
Remember Gibran's words - "pain is the shell that encloses our understanding."
The message - dont shy away from pain.
and finally have you taken the first step?
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 11:14 PM | Comments (0)
Do you want to reduce your stress levels while driving slowly or otherwise to work in the morning?
Well the results from a recent study conducted by American magazine "Environment and Behavior" may show you the way.
People have more patience for on-road stresses when they drive through scenic, nature-lined streets. This is the case even when judged against roads that have less traffic, but are surrounded by sprawl.
“Not only do we like natural scenes, but they have a physiological effect. People are, in fact, calmed down and relaxed by them,” says coauthor of the study, Jack Nasar.
For the study, published in the November issue, 106 participants watched a simulation of a morning commute. Some were shown a four-lane road passing woods with little development. Others were shown commutes with fewer cars on the road, but with more strip malls and less vegetation.
Before the simulation, the participants had been given tests designed to increase frustration—for example, anagrams that had no solution. After their “drive,” researchers measured the participants’ stress levels with a questionnaire. The drivers who had been on the greener but more congested road were less frustrated.
In summary, nature heals.
Indeed while we are on the subject of stress relief in cars, here is another tip.
For thirty seconds laugh at your watch. Exaggerate your laughter as much as possible. As your mind does not know the difference between real and imagined laughter it reacts the same way - releasing the pleasure chemical endorphins into your system.
Feels good - dont be concerned by the looks from the car beside you!
Posted by Kevin Kelly at 09:39 AM | Comments (0)