February 14, 2006

A different kind of love

New research from the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago has revealed the secret to better marriages/ better relationships -

Put your partners happiness before yours - altruistic love as it is described.

1300 people were surveyed, sixty percent of the sample were married.

Interesting.

To highlight how you stand on this issue, rate how strongly you agree or disagree with these statements:

I would rather suffer myself than let the one I love suffer.
I cannot be happy unless I place the one I love's happiness before my own.
I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let the one I love achieve his/hers.
I would endure all things for the sake of the one I love.

Nearly nine in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the first statement. About seven in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the second statement. About eight in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the last two statements.

Of particular concern to me is the second statement. showing true love is a function of how much you respect and cherish yourself. Can you give if you haven't got - I dont believe so.

My favourite interpretation of true love was written by Kahlil Gibran who talked of the oak tree and the cyprus tree that grew not in either shadows to which I have added meet at the top.

And finally a thought to ponder; many people talk about looking for their soul mate but appear to forget the "soul" part on making their choice.

Happy Valentines Day.

Posted by Kevin Kelly at February 14, 2006 09:02 AM